Many people believe they are sharing their Stories via Social Media. Over time, these stories begin to be seen as a persons Dominant Narrative, or Authentic Self. The challenge with this form of storytelling is that what is shared in Social Media are the result of Curated Content. For example, Reels in Instagram reflect the Performance of Identity, and don’t reflect the authentic person. Typically, these Performances reflect only the positive aspects of a person’s life, and not the mundane activities, or the challenges they have had. The Dominant Narrative is incomplete. The personal narrative portrayed in Social Media is a false-presentation. Curators of false-identities end up being influenced by their Social Media Posts, and they begin to only view their identities in this incomplete way. The activity of curating false-identities on social media can promote avoidance behaviour, which can lead to serious problems in a persons day-to-day life.
Now lets examine the quote: “If you can overthink the worst why can’t you overthink the best.” When someone is “overthinking the worst,” they are entrenched in the challenges of a narrative that is problematic. Overthinking the worst leaves you stuck in a negative way of life, almost paralysed and unable to access more positive stories in a person’s life. When an individual is only focussed on the positives and ignore the negatives it can prevent them from making needed change. Indeed, people can be entrenched on only the positives, turn a blind eye to the negatives, which can stop someone from making needed change.
Being authentic and having intimate knowledge of self requires individuals to fully be aware of their full story, both the negatives and the positives. Think of the metaphor of a carpet. If you sweep all of the negatives under the carpet, and only appreciate the attractive top part of the floor covering, awareness of the entire carpet is not possible. Awareness of a person’s total story is necessary to assist with change. Being aware of both the negatives and the positives provides a person with the wisdom to help make positive change. Individuals cannot be authentic and effect appropriate change by focussing on their lives like the curator of Social Media reels on Instagram, by avoiding the challenges in their lives and highlighting only the positives.
In Collaborative Therapeutic strategies change occurs by assisting persons to be aware of their challenges that entrench them in problem stories, including the narrative that if I just focus on the “good stuff” everything will be okay. Counselling can involve reframing negative experiences into strengths. For example, to stand up to a dominant partner that seeks control can speak to a person’s resiliency and unveil strategies of survival, their positive strengths. Collaborative Counselling supports a balanced informed decision-making process between knowing the challenges and the positives that exist in a person’s story, which help individuals to connect to their agency to construct a new storyline that can effect positive change.
Exercise
Self-reflection is a good exercise to understand whether a person is using social media to portray an authentic self, or a curated self. Ask yourself these questions:
What are your motivations for posting? Are you sharing experiences and genuine interests, or are you seeking approval, validation, or trying to match a specific trend?
Do you censor your opinions or interests? Reflect on whether you avoid posting about certain passions or beliefs for fear of judgment or to maintain a curated image
Are you focused on reality or an “ideal” reality? A true representation usually balances highlights with the everyday, rather than just showcasing an edited version of your life
Reference
The Role of False Self-Presentation and Social Comparison in Excessive Social Media Use By Nor Fariza Mohd Nor1, Nayab Iqbal1, Azianura Hani Shaari1. National Library of Medicine, 2025.
